The Yin and The Yang of baseball

Wikipedia states: In Asian philosophy, the concept of yin yang, which is often referred to in the West as "yin and yang", is used to describe how polar opposites or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other in turn.

This Post has been "brewing" for a while, as I have observed SO MANY times, how Chicks and Blokes interpret, process and react SO differently to youth baseball. Its an endless fascination, that gets added to on a daily basis! Forgive me if I ramble a little, hopefully it all makes sense to the reader in the end!

Firstly, the traditional "baseball momster disclaimer"....please don't take any of this as a jab at you personally, or interpret any of my writings as anything other than FUN. The more we learn to laugh at ourselves in this little world of baseball we are all such a part of, the more productive the journey will be!

SO.....the Yin and The Yang of baseball......I'm choosing to write about how the Moms and Dads in our baseball circles react to...just about everything....in practice, in the games, when their kid cries, responses to the coaching styles....the works!

Let me get into some awesome stereo-typing first.....there's Mama-bear, the Mom who complains about the coach who dares to yell at her precious little deserves-to-be-an-all star son....these people probably wind up jumping from league-to-league, trying to find someone who's worthy of coaching their AMAZING kid (who the rest of us know actually has very little talent, not by fault of himself, more from over-protective Mama, who won't allow anyone to "disrespect" him). Next you have the in-denial Dad.....this is the one who has very little baseball knowledge of his own, probably WISHED he had played ball, and therefore assumes that his kid is incredible....this is the Dad who believes that all-star teams are totally fixed, and THAT is why his son didn't make the team, not really GETTING it that his kid just didn't make the cut for lacking-the-skills reasons.

Other stereo types are in the reactions I have observed are when something occurs...for instance: There's a play at first, the runner is safe by a mile because the throw was wild, coupled with the fact that the first baseman saw it as more important to keep his foot on the bag rather than go after the ball. The men tend to yell "GOOD THROWS boys, where was that going??!!" or loudly express their feeling towards the first baseman for not trying to catch the ball. The girls tend to clap loudly and say "nice try Honey" while whispering to each other that at least the ball was going in the right direction, and wasn't the runner a fast kid anyway.

Pushing these funny stereo types into a corner, my observations are that IN GENERAL, the guys, both those coaching and those on the side-lines are more accepting of a strict and sometimes tough-love approach to teaching. The raising of the voice, the scowling when the kids drop the ball, the running-laps-due-to-misbehavior.....these are all things that seem to sit well with most of the guys. Not always so with the ladies.....many hear the raising of the voice, and it becomes "yelling/screaming at my kid"....others will see the lap-running, and question it ("the punishment seemed to harsh")....the scowl intended to send a message, is seen as "giving my son the death stare for an in-valid reason!".

Turn this on it's head, and there are other things that the chicks CAN'T STAND and the blokes either tune out or let go......dug-out behavior....there's nothing that seems to get under a baseball Mommy's skin more than the many dug-out behaviors we see at each different level. There's the little-kid dug-out that is just an accident waiting to happen as they swing their bats while their pals are ducking around them trying to find their Gatorade, and never mind the potential bacteria-breeding ground as they drink each other's water and play with the gum they just "found" under the bench. The 7-8 year old dug out has graduated a little from here, but still is a violation of many safety codes. By this age they've figured out how to climb the fence, and grab their cups a little too much for a Mom's comfort. By the time they've hit the kid-pitch field, gross humor and sunflower seeds are added to the mix. For whatever reason 9/10yr old humor has reached a whole new level of POTTY-TALK, and this is yet another thing that is just horrifying to the Moms. If we are in earshot of the dugout, we are simply devastated that when our boys get together in a group in the dugout, that they resort to disgusting humor, and crotch-grabbing rather than support their team mate who is up to bat! Having not reached the next level, I'm not sure what joys the bronco field's dug outs hold.....To summarise, the general consensus seems to be, that in the case of dug-outs, guys tend to have a "boys-will-be-boys" attitude, and the girls deem a lot of the typical behavior unacceptable.

un-intentional enabling of weaker traits. Allowing a child to have a meltdown on the mound and then directly comforting might do more harm than good, where as teaching him how to self-regulate and independently stand on his own two feet and SUCCEED has many more long-term benefits, both in the game of baseball and in the big game of life.

Of course I have to end with an anecdote of my own, where I need to figure out how to suck it up and walk away......please tell me there are more baseball Moms out there who feel the same way I do.....I have been close to too many conversations where some numpty-baseball-dad is bragging about his son, who is the most amazing pitcher in the league. The conversation quickly becomes one that details purpose-fully hitting kids with a pitch. I'm not talking about a plate-crowding-brush-back type pitch, these blokeys think they are hot you-know-what when they talk about curve-balls to the ribs, and how fast and hard their kid throws, and how EVERYONE is scared of him yadda-yadda-blah-blah...my current struggle is walking-away from such conversations, and it is taking every ounce of self control to not blast in there one day, and just PEG numpty-dad with MY best pitch just to shut his big-baseball-mouth up! Happy baseball everyone, it's great to be back!





Of mice and men...

I feel like I should be starting this post as though I am confessing : Forgive me blog-readers for I have not blogged since SEPTEMBER!!!! Rest assured, many blog-worthy thoughts were forming, and many conversations on sidelines had me inspired to write many, many posts....they just never came into being!

Since last posting, we have completed the little-guy's season in winter-ball pinto, which was a great time. The feeling of switching gears when you have just FINISHED Pinto, and moved up to Mustang with one child, but then being able to take yourself back to simpler-younger baseball is odd, but nice too! The frequent complaint of parents at the Mustang level is that the games are long, and rather drawn-out as you watch the kids learning how to pitch, throwing more balls than strikes.....Not the case in Pinto, where the games can be filled with excitement! Also, I was noticing how I felt as though I had done this before, and even during the intense week leading up to the turkey tournament, I felt I handled the "parental stress" aspect in a very different way this time around! During my oldest's first year doing tournaments and all stars, I honestly thought I needed prescription-medication to get me through the waves of emotion whenever he got up to bat, or the ball was in his part of the field! With Kid #2, I have to confess that all though I was elated at successful plays, good sportsmanship and all the other positives of the game, I was much better able to say "oh well, next time!" at the down-sides of the game! I was much more able to joyously embrace the wonderful experience it had been for my son to play in a tournament (finally it was his turn too!), and not feel disapointment on his behalf for any on-the-field areas where perfomance had been lacking!

We are now also in the "final frontier" of travelball, and getting all set for our "big tournament"....this is the only one where TRAVEL is actually involved!
 On a side note here, I LOVE the way our travel ball team really doesn't travel far. I sometimes wish they would have different names for teams such as ours, so that people not in the same baseball circles could diffrentiate at the level of craziness we were involved in! What I mean by this is: Our team, in my opinion, has good balance - we practise moderately - not too much, not too little. We have local games, and enter local tournaments, and gain good play experience WITHOUT leaving the state or even the county on a regular basis. In my opinion, all of this is definately age-appropriate expectations.......on the flipside, I have heard stories of other teams where they do some SERIOUS travel. Airplanes, roadtrips to destinations, big-deal tournaments out of state, the whole nine yards. As well as not fully understanding how one funds such amazing-ness for just ONE child out of the family, I have to wonder if such an overwhelming amount of "big deal" is counter-productive in one so young, possibly resulting in burn-out rather than a love of the game.....
 As I was saying.....our "big" tounament is approaching, and our family is very excited about the experience! Watching our team journey along, learning, learning, learning is SUCH a neat thing to be a part of. I realise how each of our players has different parts of their game where they either have taken to it like a duck to water, or it's just not working for them...YET. The game has changed from the one they played at Pinto, and now there is more work involved! As with everything in the world of a nine year old, work isn't always what they feel like doing but still we press on! What I observe as they learn, is that the penny seems to drop at different, un-predictable moments with each of them. For some, hitting has been rough - the ball now is un-predictable, and maybe you're going to get hit. They each approach this a different way......for some they've been hit and just don't care, for others they will do what they can to AVOID getting hit, sometimes at their own expense (they don't make contact), for others it's more a confidence thing, and with each pitch that they successfully hit their confidence increases, and all of a sudden their hitting improves. It's been neat too, watching developments in their pitching. Kids who could pitch one inning can now pitch for longer. More strikes are coming across the plate, and balls are at least close to the strike zone. Also watching their ability to handle themselves when maybe there suddenly seems to be issues getting that last out of an inning. All these things in their learning curve are GREAT to be a part of.
 With Spring season fast approaching, I am sure there will be some interesting things to blog about! In the Spring, once more the balance will be tipped - new teams will form, different combinations of personailties will pour out onto the fields! Coach-friends will become friendly-rivals, kids we're buddies with could be on the "other team". I believe we are approximately a month away. What it shall bring, who knows.......my goal.....that my kids further their skills, and at the end of the season they still love the game!